Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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