I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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