K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
