Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
