Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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