Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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