Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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