I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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