You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
