She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
