My Higher Power is John Stamos
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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