im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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