god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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