I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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