Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
