apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
