maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
