covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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