I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
