hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
