So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
