so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
