I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
