You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
