im six kinds of drunk right now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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