I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
