i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
