Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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