I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
