4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
