i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
