No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
