You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
