After last night, I could never be a politician.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
