Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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