Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
