That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
