let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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