she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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