pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
