the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
