The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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