I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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