addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
