Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
