escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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