my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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