someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
