Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
