why didn't you poke me back
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
