R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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