What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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