Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
