you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
