Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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