I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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