they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
