I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
