i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
