She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
